* Fra http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/s***n#Metal :
Common knowledge attributes s***n Himself with creating the genre of music known as Heavy Metal.
[...]
He has been involved in the scene since doing guest songwriting on Black Sabbath's epyonymous debut (being the generous chap that he is, he decided not to claim royalties), only taking a short break during the late '90s, when God attempted to fight back with crappy nu-metal bands and forcing almost every true metal band to release their worst efforts.
* Fra http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Iron_Maiden :
“Back in primary school, he was such a bully! He kept calling me 666.”
~ s***n on Bruce Dickinson
og:
Iron Maiden CAN be fought, however this is not advised because it will certainly end with your death
Iron Maiden can NOT be sought
Iron Maiden CAN, however, be bought at various HMV or Music World stores worldwide near you.
* Fra http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Metal#Classifications :
it sub-divides into further categories according to which body part performing it harms. For example:
[...]
Death Metal harms the voice with growling and screaming. Although it makes peas grow faster, as proven on MythBusters.
Black Metal harms the soul by worshiping non-cthulhu devils. Unblack Metal (the Godly and Christian variant) is awesome.
Folk Metal harms the balls by adding an obscene amount of acoustic traditional instruments into the mix. (And for its lack of bass.)
[...]
Doom metal makes you slit your throat like an emo kid. It has more depressive lyrics then any emo could write, but its lower crap content allows it to remain classified as metal.
Melodic Metal is a metal wannabe with no devil worship, yelling/screaming, or any other characteristics of metal, harming the perception by altering ones view of what metal is and isn't.
* Fra http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Motorhead :
A nöw pöpular förm öf transpört öriginally develöped by Hitler in the autumn öf 1936. Much like the motörcar, the Motörhead runs öff petröl ör Jack Daniels whiskey,malboros, and sex with your mom and sister, and travels at appröximately 138 decibels per höur. A new versiön prömised by Steve Jobs för the year öf 123 P.C. will run at 150 decibels per möment. It has been converting your average person into a Motörheadbangers... their minions and soon to be universal army.
* Fra http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Ozzy_Osbourne :
Ozzy has two great natural enemies: Ronnie James Dio. Scientists believe that he has a grudge due to him being outrocked by dio countless times, but with the help of Sharon, Ozzy is still able to cloud his popularity, thus making it confusing to tell predator and prey apart. The other is Bruce Dickinson, who Sharon once called a prick.
* Fra http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Black_Sabbath :
Jozzy was replaced by man-midget Ronnie James Dio, who singlehandedly put some fire under the bands butt, and pissed on their legacy by singing about dragons and Stonehenge, although it must be conceded that the Dio albums were terrifically funny.
[...]
In 1992, after Ronnie's fifth solo album 'Locked Up Wolves', he returned to his childhood band, Black Sabbath, as a wise sage, to make the soundtrack to the movie 'Wayne's World'. This was entitled 'Dehumorizer', and true to its name, it lacks the humor present on the band's earlier work with Ronnie.
* Fra http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Manowar :
Glenn Danzig, Lars Ulrich, Boy George, and Steve Martin
* Fra http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Heavy_Metal :
Heavy metal * is the 666th element in the periodic table. Heavy metal is the heaviest of the metals, even heavier than rocks. It was discovered in 1984 by the German physicist s***n, although it was not until the industrial revolution of the 1970's that it became important as the primary ingredient in the manufacture of Lead Zeppelins. Coincidentially, when the revolution died down in the 1980's another technique in Heavy Metal handling was found. This new way to handle Heavy Metal gave astounding results creating a wide range of products, products like : A musical version of Judas' followers and a brand new torture device which actually gave enjoyment to the victim.
Heavy metal is often blamed for heavy metal poisoning, which can lead to suicidal tendencies in teenagers. It is also a source of headbanging and mental illness.
* Også fra http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Heavy_Metal :
Judas Priestium - The most powerful element. Sometimes used as painkiller, high doses are highly venomous and can take you beyond the realms of death. Can be found on the lochness, but only when the night comes down. Use it carefully, or you'll be never satisfied. For greatest effect, you have to ram it down when you insert Judas Priestium into an orifice. Long-time users are known to become hell-bent for leather, though some go on a religious crusade and become defenders of the faith, or auto enthusiasts and begin work on developing faster turbos. When immersed in anti-matter, Judas Priestium is known to transform into diamonds and rust. Commonly used in the production of Harley Davidson motorcycles , as well as killing machines and jugulators. Posession of Judas Priest is breaking the law.
